Moms: Let’s Relax the Expectations

Nobody actually likes perfect people anyway

My 10-year old son came home from school last week saying he scored a 93% on his math test, then, before I could respond, said he’d decided to take the paper test to aim for 100%.

Like I always do when my kids are as grade-obsessed as the university students I teach, I asked how he felt when he got the 93%. He shrugged, gazed at the birds fluttering around the bougainvillea outside, and told me about some “sweet goal” he shot in soccer practice.

When I sat at my computer the next day, I had 14 tabs open on my internet browser. Papers to grade, emails to respond to, a writing deadline to complete, a packed calendar of student meetings, celebrations and appointments; there was the booking page for a flight to a conference I’d been accepted into, the website of a possible publisher for my book, the edits for a four-piece series I’m writing. Then, the number of unopened emails in my personal mailbox rose to 15,701 (don’t judge): this new message asked if I’d like to bring my kids to a baseball game. When on earth did I have the time? I wondered, gaping at all those browsers, unclear where to begin.

As a mom, I never feel like I’m good enough. I’m half-assed at everything. Usually, when I affix a smile to my face and act like I’m killing it…